[ OPEN RP ]

[sweet_oleander]

WHO: YOU
WHAT: Happy hour
WHERE: @ Yakiniki Q
WHEN: Nebulous, anytime
WARNINGS: Drinking! Debauchery...? Create your own threads, tag everywhere, tag yourselves in!



[ Sakura sits at the bar, nursing a bottle of sake. She's alone, but she doesn't really mind it or the pathology it implies. She's had a bad few days... months... years... ]

Comments

[ramenosis]

[Naruto wishes he was someone's date. HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS IS FINE he's been fine being single forever ITS FINE WHATEVER

He blinks like wtf is that supposed to mean while rubbing his ribs idly.]

...What?

[blondambition]

He thinks we're here together!

[She notices Naruto's blank look and remembers who she is talking to.]

Together-together! Never mind, now my chances of getting laid tonight are 0%. No one wants to mess with you now!

[ramenosis]

TOGETHER-TOGETHER?

[WELL SHIT. Not that coming here as Ino's date is the MOST HORRIBLE THING but SAKURA. He rubs the back of his head, grumbling and trying to think of a way to fix this. Then she brings up getting laid JUST]

Oi. You just came here to get laid? [POINTS AT HER LIKE THE RUDE LITTLE SHIT HE IS]

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU? A PERVY GIRL!?

[blondambition]

[INO JUMPS ON HIM, TRYING TO KEEP HIM QUIET.]

SHHH SHHH YOU'RE SO LOUD!!!

[But seriously, who let these two have alcohol??? They are at least a million times worse when wasted.]

It's not pervy! It's perfectly natural. Like YOU'VE never done it!

[ramenosis]

HEY! GET OFF! I'M NOT GONNA LAY YOU RIGHT HERE OR WHATEVER, Y'KNOW!

[Because that's obviously what she's trying to do TRYING TO HUMP HIM. And yes they are very loud and attracting all sorts of unwanted attention.

And Naruto is SO INDIGNANT at that he doesn't go to BARS JUST TO GET LAID not when his friends are around anyway I mean really Ino.]

WHAT! HELL NO! That's the kinda shit ero-sennin would do! Try and pick up chicks at the bar.

[blondambition]

[Ino is hanging off of him now, just out of spite. Sakura probably would not approve of Naruto and Ino doing anything scandalous in a public bar, anyway. She'd at least take him somewhere else, she is CLASSY okay!]

It's not a crime, okay!

[And just to get the embarrassment off of her--]

You sound like a TOTAL virgin!

[ramenosis]

[NO it's not a crime but GEEZ INO

GEEEEEEEEEEEZ girl!ero-sennin. He's going to call her ecchi-ino. Ecchino heheheheheh.

He nearly chokes on his tongue at being called a virgin because EVERYONE HEARD IT

More blushing.]

WELL, I'M NOT. SHUDDAP.

[You really don't go on a journey with Jiraiya for 2 years and come back a virgin...]

[blondambition]

[Ino isn't surprised-- really, Naruto was traveling with the biggest perv-- but it sure is fun to mess with him. She jumps down off of him, putting her hands on her hips. She wobbles dangerously.]

Well, whatever, now you're my date for the night since you scared everyone else away!

[ramenosis]

[He eyes her and if she does fall at least he could catch her. Maybe he shouldn't though, with how much he teased her.

Nah, he would still catch her.]

What?

[Looks around EVERYBODY IS STILL HERE

..........oh he gets it]

I see! Heh! If you wanted to go out with me, you shoulda just said in the first place, Ecchi-Ino!

[blondambition]

[She rolls her eyes good naturedly.]

Oh PLEEEASE! You have some--

[She pokes him in the stomach, then slides her finger to underneath his chin.]

-- growing to do before you could handle me.

[ramenosis]

[His chin tilts back with that move before he narrows his eyes and snatches her wrist to hold it gently.]

Oi, what's that supposed to mean? I'm plenty grown!

[blondambition]

Physically, anyway~

[It's not like Ino can compete with Naruto in terms of strength. He not only outweighs her and is taller than her, he has the freaken Kyuubi so yeah, no contest there. Mentally, however...]

You know, life experiences make a shinobi richer and all that!

[She laughs. Maybe Jiraiya-sama had it right the whole time.]

[ramenosis]

I've got plenty experience too.

[He grumbles it, not really appreciating Ino undermining her character. He's a lot older now! Plus, he's gone through some pretty traumatizing shit for his age. She doesn't know the half of it, really.

They both lost their senseis, both knew what it was like to have someone try and cut ties, both put on smiles for everyone else's sake and...when did this get sappy?

Another grunt and said with the a seriousness it DEFINITELY does not need since Ino is being so lighthearted about it all]

I could handle you. Bet you're the one that couldn't handle me! [And finally, a grin.]

THREADJACKING RIGHT HERE

[sweet_oleander]

[ Sakura has reached part II of her drunkenness: the WOBBLY YET STILL SOMEHOW PREACHY state.

She is very wobbly.

She is very preachy.

Her pointer finger is practically in Naruto's face. ]


I DON'T APPROVE OF ANY OF THIS.

[blondambition]

Oh my GOD, Captain KillJoy is here.

[Ino needs 12 drinks now.]

LMFAOFLDKJGd

[ramenosis]

[STARES AT THE FINGER and then slowly turns to Ino.]







Who?

[He's pretty sure that's Sakura-chan. Sakura-chan who doesn't look happy...

In fact he will tell you.]

Ino, that's Sakura-chan. Geez, you must be REALLY drunk.

Sakura vs. Ino PART II

[sweet_oleander]

[ Sakura nods. She is VERY SERIOUS right now. Ino is a MANEATER. She will DESTROY Naruto. It is Sakura's CIVIC DUTY to her best friend and, by proxy, her VILLAGE to save him from her. ]

Listen. LISTEN. You should stay away from Ino. She is BAD NEWS. She is ensnaring you with her WOMANLY WILES. [ Sakura puts her hands on Naruto's shoulders and SHAKES. ] SNAP OUT OF IT.

[blondambition]

[WHERE IS THE LOYALTY, SAKURA?

SHE WASN'T SERIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT IT BEFORE BUT NOW SAKURA SAYS SHE CAN'T HAVE IT SHE WANTS IT MORE.]

Excuse me!! I'm standing RIGHT HERE!

omg

[ramenosis]

[What the fuck is womanly wiles. He remembers it vaguely during a time with Jiraiya but-

He sputters at being shook like that and grabs her hands, pulling them off him DONT SHAKE HIM SAKURA HE WILL GET DIZZY AND VOMIT. He doesn't get it really BUT OKAY. Just...don't shake him.]

But! But Ino is my friend! I can't just stay away from her. Same way I can't stay away from you! Why are you sayin' to stay away anyway! She's your friend too!

[Poor Naruto.]

[sweet_oleander]

[ ... Naruto really isn't that stupid. Ino was flirting with him. HE WAS FLIRTING BACK. He just offered to HANDLE HER.

Sakura has been knocked off of her soapbox by Naruto's obliviousness. Is he really that dense? Or is he just FAKING it so that Sakura won't get mad and punch him to the moon? Is he enough of a strategist to DO such a thing?

She has a headache.

Also, she's ignoring Ino because she is MAD AT HER. How dare she flirt with Naruto and cheat on the Chuunin exams and stuff?? ]


Because! BECAUSE!


[ She actually doesn't really have a good reason besides I DON'T WANT YOU TO BANG INO and that seems woefully crass to scream in the middle of a bar. ]

[blondambition]

[SHE DID NOT CHEAT, DAMN IT, SHE PLAYED INTO HER STRENGTHS SO SUCK IT, SAKURA.]

I AM STILL RIGHT HERE!

[Why is Sakura even mad?? Is it because she almost asked a shady guy about her stuff?]

Sakura, calm down!

[ramenosis]

[Seriously SAKURA CALM DOWN He's afraid you might start breaking things and he doesn't want to get blacklisted from here when his mom blacklisted everyone from Yakiniku those years ago.

Also 'because' is a dumb reason YOU GUYS ARE FRIENDS why does he have to stay away?

He is guiding Sakura to SIT DOWN she is obviously distraught so he's leaning down to look into her eyes, getting a bit serious even if he's wobbling a little himself]

Sakura-chan, you okay? You're sayin' some crazy stuff.

[sweet_oleander]

[ Sakura lets him sit her down, because she IS getting a little tipsy, literally, and she's tired. She's tired, drunk, lonely, and TO BE HONEST, A LITTLE JEALOUS. Because if Naruto and Ino run off together, where does that leave her???

NOWHERE. WITH NO ONE.

This is a really selfish line of thought. ]

I'm fine.

[ She isn't, really. She is BURNING. ]

[blondambition]

What did you mean "womanly wiles"???

[Because Ino is drunk and that totally sounds like an insult!]

Besides, you don't own Naruto! He can do what-- and who!-- he wants!

[ramenosis]

Yeah!






Eh? Who?

[Wait. What? WHO?

Oh. OH!!! But...Naruto had meant dating! How did they get from dating to sex?? When he said handle, he thought she meant how Ino was sort of a handful and could be scary and had a really bad temper and could be loud. He meant Ino coulddn't handle how much he loved ramen and his energy and his stupidity and everything else people had called him!

NOT BED THINGS. NOT SEX THINGS.

Blushing.]

YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA SLEEP WITH INO?!