[ OPEN RP ]

[sweet_oleander]

WHO: YOU
WHAT: Happy hour
WHERE: @ Yakiniki Q
WHEN: Nebulous, anytime
WARNINGS: Drinking! Debauchery...? Create your own threads, tag everywhere, tag yourselves in!



[ Sakura sits at the bar, nursing a bottle of sake. She's alone, but she doesn't really mind it or the pathology it implies. She's had a bad few days... months... years... ]

Comments

[blondambition]

[SHE DID NOT CHEAT, DAMN IT, SHE PLAYED INTO HER STRENGTHS SO SUCK IT, SAKURA.]

I AM STILL RIGHT HERE!

[Why is Sakura even mad?? Is it because she almost asked a shady guy about her stuff?]

Sakura, calm down!

[ramenosis]

[Seriously SAKURA CALM DOWN He's afraid you might start breaking things and he doesn't want to get blacklisted from here when his mom blacklisted everyone from Yakiniku those years ago.

Also 'because' is a dumb reason YOU GUYS ARE FRIENDS why does he have to stay away?

He is guiding Sakura to SIT DOWN she is obviously distraught so he's leaning down to look into her eyes, getting a bit serious even if he's wobbling a little himself]

Sakura-chan, you okay? You're sayin' some crazy stuff.

[sweet_oleander]

[ Sakura lets him sit her down, because she IS getting a little tipsy, literally, and she's tired. She's tired, drunk, lonely, and TO BE HONEST, A LITTLE JEALOUS. Because if Naruto and Ino run off together, where does that leave her???

NOWHERE. WITH NO ONE.

This is a really selfish line of thought. ]

I'm fine.

[ She isn't, really. She is BURNING. ]

[blondambition]

What did you mean "womanly wiles"???

[Because Ino is drunk and that totally sounds like an insult!]

Besides, you don't own Naruto! He can do what-- and who!-- he wants!

[ramenosis]

Yeah!






Eh? Who?

[Wait. What? WHO?

Oh. OH!!! But...Naruto had meant dating! How did they get from dating to sex?? When he said handle, he thought she meant how Ino was sort of a handful and could be scary and had a really bad temper and could be loud. He meant Ino coulddn't handle how much he loved ramen and his energy and his stupidity and everything else people had called him!

NOT BED THINGS. NOT SEX THINGS.

Blushing.]

YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA SLEEP WITH INO?!

[sweet_oleander]

[ Oh, Naruto. Sweet, beautiful, naive Naruto. Ino does not date men. Ino CHEWS THEM UP AND SPITS THEM OUT and THEN MAKES THEM THINK THEY WERE BETTER OFF FOR IT.

( Sakura is totally jealous of this attribute but she would never, ever tell her.) ]

WHY WOULDN'T YOU SLEEP WITH INO? She's beautiful and smart and probably all BENDY, and she was ALL OVER YOU. Where did you think this was going??

[ WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID. ]

[blondambition]

Well-- well--!

[Ino pauses.]

Thank you very much!

[She is supposed to be angry but...! Those were all very nice-- and true-- things!]

Though, it really wasn't going where you think it was going. We were keeping things strictly PG!

... maybe PG-13.

[ramenosis]

[WHY WOULDN'T HE? Well he's in love with Sakura, first of all. And she might be those things but HE REALLY DIDN'T KNOW. He was teasing about her wanting to date him and she had teased back and SUDDENLY IT WAS ABOUT SEX? He's so confused and he wishes he could have understood this sooner. But girls are so damn confusing what the hell.

He didn't know she was all over him. He thought she was just giving him a hard time. REALLY.

Did she say bendy...? NO.]

It wasn't goin' ANYWHERE! Ino is INO.

[YEAH she's beautiful and smart and all those things but still INO.

Bendy.....]

[sweet_oleander]

[ Well, Sakura is stupidly in love with Sasuke but SHE IS TRYING TO MOVE ON. Why couldn't Naruto do the same? And Sakura hasn't encouraged his advances at all --

( -- and, not, she reasons, because if it all goes to shit and she loses him too, she'll be totally lost -- )

-- so why SHOULDN'T he try to hook up with someone so ANNOYINGLY AVAILABLE? ]

OKAY WELL. As long as we're all on the same page!

[blondambition]

Yeah!

... No, wait!

[Ino is way too drunk for this. She sways a bit in anger.]

What does "Ino is Ino" mean?! Are you saying I'm not hook up-worthy??

[ARE THEY IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE NOTHING MAKES SENSE??]

[ramenosis]

[Dammit he knew he would fuck-up somewhere along the line. Ino was just as scary as Sakura could be sometimes. He freezes, stammering over his words at first before finally just blurting them out.]

What? Ehhhh, no! I mean yes! You're hook up-worthy! Definitely!!

[How could she not be? Naruto wasn't blind! She had given him a boner earlier even! A little chubby.

Was she girlfriend worthy tho, that's the question. Since Naruto couldn't really do...hook ups. Not with people he's known since he couldn't do a proper bunshin.]

...You were all over me?

[sweet_oleander]

[ Sakura is going to next the next few moments to pass out on the bar stool. HAVE FUN CARRYING HER HOME LATER, NARUTO. ]

[blondambition]

[Ino thinks about it.]

Maybe a little?

[ :D ]

[ramenosis]

REALLY?

[And Sakura lmfao...

He stares a bit at Ino, eying her. Was she just saying that? He could swear she was just messing with him earlier but if she was actually all over him.

Nobody's really been all over him.]

Hmm, you did sit on my lap.

[blondambition]

Is that really so shocking?

[But really, Sakura was making her sound like some sort of scarlet woman!

... which is kind of was, she supposes, but whatever. No need to hate, Sakura.

Ino mock pouts.]

Even though I'm just Ino.

[ramenosis]

[Uh oh. He knows that tone. And yeah, it IS shocking. Ino had never really shown interest before so he didn't think she was being serious.

Was she being serious? What did Sakura say about womanly biles? No...that's not it.]

Well, yeah you're Ino but y'know, Sakura was right.

You're pretty and smart! Heh! I said it before, didn't I? [This is genuine while he grins and then he gets a curious look and whispers;]

But...are you really bendy?

[blondambition]

[Of course, that is the tidbit of information that Naruto clings on to.]

I have many talents.

[Translation: Oh yes. She taps under his chin again.]

Too bad you have to take Sakura home, you could have found out for yourself.

[Okay, now she is just teasing him because his reactions? So priceless.]

[ramenosis]

[Of course because it's SEXUAL.

He grunts a bit at the chin tap and then blinks. Too bad he...what? His eyes trail slowly over to Sakura who is passed out at the bar. His eyes squint slowly once he realizes she really can't hold her liquor.

But happens to be an effective cockblock even in unconsciousness. Yeah, he has to take her home. But that doesn't mean he can't dream. Or discuss very nice details with Ino. Interesting details about bendy bodies and other such things.

Hey, Ino might be a pervy girl but he's a pervy guy too.]

Found out...your talents?

[Gulp. Still pretty innocent tho.]

[blondambition]

[Sakura looks so peaceful, sleeping on the bar. It's kind of adorable, even though she is drooling just a bit.

She gives a dramatic sigh, leaning on Naruto's shoulder.]

That's right-- my many talents. Legendary, even. Such a shame.

[ramenosis]

[...It really is a shame, in a way. He looks to Sakura again and he knows he said NOTHING AT ALL was going to happen and he was going to stay true to his word. That's his ninja way.

But he never said he couldn't pry a little for information.

He situates himself so his arm can slide a bit around her, fingers brushing her side.]

Soooo...what kind of talents?

[blondambition]

[She leans her mouth near his ear and smiles.]

That's classified information.

[ramenosis]

[Why can he NEVER CATCH A BREAK

Complains. Whines. Grumbles.]

C'monnnnn!

[He needs something juicy to think of for later lmao]

It's not classified if it's legendary!

[blondambition]

[Ino presses a teasing kiss to his cheek.]

Haven't you heard patience is a virtue?

[ramenosis]

[FLJDLJGDK BLUSHES and mumbles something that sounds like 'no, that's stupid'

then louder;]

Ino! You're killin' me! You can't say that shit and leave me hangin'!

[This time he wraps her up in his arms and presses his cheek to hers.]

C'mon! Please! I'll tell you you're pretty again! And give examples!

[sweet_oleander]

[ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sakura is still unconscious and everything but come on, Naruto, if you're going to dig for fantasy fodder and drape yourself all over Ino in a scandalous manner DO IT SOMEWHERE ELSE.

Also that shady as fuck jounin with an eyepatch is leering at the sleeping Sakura as if she were a particularly juicy piece of meat and he hasn't eaten in three days. ]