[Ino leans in further, leaving no personal space between her and Sakura as she presses her cheek to her friend's. She has an evil smile on her face. Sakura knows it well.]

I think we both know you don't want to know about my sex life. But, hey, if you insist! I'm more than happy to oblige my best friend with tales of my sexcapades. So, let's see. Last night a couple of us went out and Naruto was there...

[She pauses as if she's really considering whether she wants to tell Sakura this story or not.]

And here I am thinking that he's gotten pretty hot-- you know, future Hokage and all-- so me being me, I just started flirting with him. He's so easy! You'd think hanging out with Jiraiya would make him a little more girl savvy...

[There are many different kinds of psychological torture. Whether this story is real or not, Sakura will now have mental images of two people she cares about, which is really the worst kind of torture.]